EPISODE 035 (235): Cranky Liquid Paper Guy (and other tales of Library Neophytes)

We're all neophytes at something in life, but the number of people who remain computer neophytes in 2012 is still pretty astounding to me.  Even more astounding are the people who are neophytes to libraries themselves--entire "famblies" of people who would only set foot in one if sent there by THEY.  This podcast tells a few such stories that befell me during my time working for a "liberry."

(Featuring a guest appearance by Parka.)
DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 035 (235): Cranky Liquid Paper Guy (and other Tales of Library Neophytes)

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "Outlook Not Good"
• Original Blog Entry: "Oprah's Psychic Balls"
  
• Original Blog Entry: "Cranky Liquid Paper Guy"
• Original Blog Entry: "A Visit from the Fambly"
• Oprah's Psychic Balls original story from Daisy Porter
• Daisy Porter's Queer YA 

EPISODE 5 (105): The Ballad of I.N. Phyte (REPOST)

(IN HONOR OF THIS WEEK'S EPISODE CELEBRATING LIBRARY AND COMPUTER NEOPHYTES, I REPOST EPISODE 5 OF SEASON 1, "THE BALLAD OF I.N. PHYTE.")
 
Fact: There are still people in this country--young people, even--whose lives do not revolve around the internet. These are people who not only don't check their email every day, they don't even HAVE email. It's kind of refreshing, when you think about it. However, it can also be VERY frustrating when those same people turn up and decide to jump whole hog into it in the course of one lesson. It can be difficult to explain the concept of the world wide web to an internet neophyte when they are still trying to climb the hurdle of basic computer concepts. It is even more difficult to explain all of the above to a person who is aggressively ignoring everything you tell them.

That used to be my job.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 5 (105)

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original blog entry: "Lemme In, I Gotta Use the Innanet"
• Original blog entry: Return of the Net Neophyte

EPISODE 38 (138): The Thanksgiving Podcast (REPOST)

(REPOST OF TURKEY DAY PODCAST FROM SEASON 1, EPISODE 38.  YOU'RE WELCOME.)

On this Thanksgiving holiday, I am thankful for family and friends willing to travel great distances to my home only to have to sleep on inflatabeds. I'm also thankful that I once wrote a handful of Tales from the "Liberry" entries in which Thanksgiving played a part. That's cause they were readily available for me to adapt for this week's podcast.

Hope you and yours are having a festive turkey season.

(And that you don't live in Missouri or Kentucky, cause I shit on those states pretty heavily in this episode.)

(This podcast features the first podcast appearance of Birthday Lady)

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 38 (138): The Thanksgiving Episode

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "Complaint Department"
• Original Blog Entry: "Happy Turkey Day"
• Original Blog Entry: "Turkey Calling"
• Original Blog Entry: "And no drinkin', either!"
• Original Blog Entry: "Hi, I'm Missouri"
• Original Blog Entry: "Hi, I'm Kentucky"
• Original Blog Entry: "Da Trip Home"
• Original Blog Entry: "Little Known Facts About Missouri"
• "LiberryCAST" Favorite Podcast of the Week: Pardcast-A-Thon 2012

EPISODE 034 (234): Nonactual Conversations Not Actually Heard in any Libraries #74

When I was first planning this podcast, there were two entries from the original Tales from the "Liberry" blog that I knew I had to adapt.  The first you can hear as the first episode.  The next is this episode.

For all the entries I wrote in my "Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries" series, only a few were labeled as paraphrased and none were outright fiction.... well, except for one.  I got pissed off at a certain set of real circumstances one day and started writing unreal dialogue. 

So I now present Non-Actual Conversations Not Heard in Actual Libraries #74--a completely fictional conversation between a number of real rogue patrons, inspired by actual events if not actual words.


DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 034 (234): Non-actual conversations NOT Heard in Actual Libraries #74

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "Non-Actual Conversations Not Heard in Actual Libraries #74"
• SETUP EPISODE #1: Parka Life
• SETUP EPISODE #2: Barbie T: Master of the Internet
• SETUP EPISODE #3: Dawn of the Dufus
• SETUP EPISODE #4: Gemini Satan
• SETUP EPISODE #5: Mr. B-Natural
• SETUP EPISODE #6: Gene Gene the Genealogy Machine
• SETUP EPISODE #7: The Patron Who Must Not Be Named
• SETUP EPISODE #8: The Ballad of Crusty The Patron
• Favorite Podcast of the Week: Nerdist interviews Zach Braff and then Eric Idle.

EPISODE 033 (233): Who's Got the 10 and a Half, Minus the Half? Part III (Sorta)

For most of my "liberry" career, I was a part time employee. Once in a while, though, when EVERYONE else was out of town, I was called upon to take on not only a full 8 hour day, but sometimes a full 10 hour day, almost entirely by myself.  And then there were times when I shot myself in my own foot by paying off favors owed for days substituted by fellow employees and worked a double shift for them with most of the rest of the staff present, too.  You try real time blogging when everyone's looking over your shoulder!

Guest stars include: Mr. Smiley, Buddy, Harry the Killer Midget, Lennie, Mr. Little Stupid, The Coot and more.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 033 (233): Who's Got the 10 and a Half Minus the Half? Part 3 (Sorta)

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "Who's Got the 10 and a Half (minus the half) 2007? PART III"
• Original Blog Entry: "Who's Got the 10 and a Half?" PART II
• Black Flag album "Who's Got the 10 and 1/2?"
• EPISODE 24 (124): Who's Got the 10 and a Half PART 1
• EPISODE 10 (110): Open Letters, Part The First (Featuring Fatty Manchild)
• Favorite Podcast of the Week: The Adam Carolla Show

EPISODE 032 (232): The (Potential) Final Chester Episode

I thought the only fitting way to wrap up this string of episodes in the Crime & Excrement Saga was to tell a few more tales about a guy who's been on the fringes of nearly every one of the last two months' worth of shows... Chester the (Potential) Molester.  These mark the final tales focussed on Chester before I stopped writing the original Tales from the "Liberry" blog.
 

DOWNLOAD:  EPISODE 032 (232): The (Potential) Final Chester Episode

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "The Secret Origin of the Untalented Mr. Ripley"
• Original Blog Entry: "Liberry Glossary: The Look of Doom"
• Original Blog Entry: "Hallowieners" 
• Original Blog Entry: "The (Potential) Great Escape"
• Original Blog Entry: "Monday Shift"
• Original Blog Entry: "Retro-Perv"
• Original Blog Entry: "My Ass: Fate Gives in to Temptation and Takes a Second Bite"
• Original Blog Entry: "(Potential) Problem"
• Chester Podcast #1 EPISODE 7 (107): The Patron Who Must NOT Be Named
• Chester Podcast #2 EPISODE 013 (213): Summer Reading and Other (Potential) Dangers
• Chester Podcast #3 EPISODE 017 (217): (Potential) Parking Enforcement
• Chester Podcast #4 EPISODE 026 (226): Chester the (Potential) Gym Rat and other stories
• "LiberryCAST" Favorite Podcast of the Week: Banned Library Podcast