EPISODE 16 (116): Stanky Patrons and other Dusty Turds

Public service brings with it one constant: The Public. And not everyone among the public is an avid fan of bathing nor is capable of comprehending that noxious fumes are produced by their butts, nor the readily available ways to combat said fumes. This was a reoccurring problem at my "liberry" that drove me nigh unto insanity. Today's episode presents one of the simple and elegant remedies to our library's ass fume problems that I actually proposed to my bosses.

As an added bonus, following today's reading is an interview with friend and former fellow library compatriot from another state, Glen B (no relation to Mrs. B), who will enlighten us as to the exact stench classification of some of the patrons in his library. He'll also enlighten us as to what one does when one's home is swallowed by a lake and how that smells afterward. This is one for the Hobo Power record books, gang.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 16 (116): Stanky Patrons and Other Dusty Turds

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "Stanky Patrons"
• Queer YA Fiction for LGTBQ Teens (Daisy Porter)
• Library Chronicles
  

EPISODE 15 (115): Deception as the Rule

One of the oddest tales in the entire "liberry" catalog has to be that of Mrs. Lying D. Sackashit, a lady who proved to have in her possession a never-ending fountain of horseshit which she turned in our direction whenever we encountered her. I don't know the true nature of her particular brand of mental flaw, but she had an impressive ability to calmly reinvent reality on the spot regardless of the MOUNTING evidence to the contrary staring her in the face. Why did she do this? To get what she wanted, of course. And, unfortunately, in our battles with her, she often won.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 15 (115): Deception as the Rule

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "Deception as the Rule"
• Original Blog Entry: "...and the librarian never saw those books again. The end."
• Podcast Recommendation: Five Tacos and a Taco
  

EPISODE 14 (114): The (Vid) Borrowers

(NOTE FROM 2012: Okay, I don't know what happened but somehow half this episode vanished. No, the version that's been posted here has the theme music, then trails off to silence for, like, 12 minutes, then comes back in with the second and third stories and wraps up. There's a massive gap where the first story had been and I don't know how this is possible. It's just gone and is gone from my back up .wav copy and the .mp3 copy and the online copy and the backup online copy I had on another server. Huge mystery, but I'm going to blame Audacity. Anyway, I rerecorded the missing bit and it's now whole once again.)

Libraries aren't just for books, you know. In fact, some patrons wouldn't crack one if there was crack in it. (Unless it was written by V.C. Andrews, but maybe that's just around here.) That's okay, cause most "liberries" have on hand a selection of some of the greatest films ever created and the shittiest VHS tapes ever to be lobbed into a donation bin. The patrons who exclusively check out such tapes fall into the patron archetype of Vid-Borrowers. And their queen, Mrs. Bellows, is a force-of-nature-of-frustration.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 14 (114): The Borrowers

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "The Borrowers Part 1"
• Original Blog Entry: "The Borrowers Part 2"
• Original Blog Entry: "Return of the Borrowers"
• Original Blog Entry: "Borrowers, Get Out!"

EPISODE 13 (113): Superfreak, the Worst of Paranoid Rick James

Upgrades in technology often bring upgrades in hassle. So was the case when our "liberry" network upgraded our circulation software, requiring us to rebarcode not only our entire collection, but our patrons as well. And when it came to patrons freaking out on us in a super fashion about policy issues concerning their library card, no one won the race ahead of Paranoid Rick James. His apparent fear that the "gubmint" was trying to keep track of which Joan Medlicott books he read led him down corridors of patron deception we could scarcely keep track of ourselves.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 13 (113)

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "Superfreak!"
  
• Original Blog Entry: "Weekend Interlude"
• Original Blog Entry: "The Return of Paranoid Rick James"
• Original Blog Entry: "Maybe I should rename him Sir Richard Weed"