EPISODE 34 (134): Dawn of the Dufus (and a story involving a fat guy on a couch)

The major problem with patron access computers are the patrons. They don't have computers at home, so they have to come use ours.

And that's great, until it's not.

Such was the case with a Rogue Patron I came to call The Dufus. He was a guy from the area who'd gone out into the world for, to hear him tell it, a storied career as a minor deity on the West Coast, where he hobnobbed with rich and powerful celebrities all of whom adored him. Again, to hear him tell it. And tell it he was more than willing to do. Somehow he got it into his head that such minor matters as time limits on the patron computers didn't apply to him and no matter how many people we had waiting to use his, there he sat, pissing all of us off. Ironic and moronic, because he was using our computer to try and get a job working for the library in the first place.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 34 (134): Dawn of the Dufus

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "Dawn of the Dufus"
• The Sound of Young America's George R.R. Martin interview.
• The Nerdist's John Hodgman interview
• The Nerdist's Neil Gaiman interview
  

EPISODE 33 (133): The Crustacean Menace!

In the past, we've chronicled small tales of Mr. B-Natural and Mr. Smiley, the first and second grumpiest old men in all the world respectively. However, the third grumpiest old man in all the world actually proved to be one of the more active antagonists in the history of the Tales from the "Liberry" blog. As I said last week, he's an honorary old white lady and for good reason; not only is he on par with the O.W.L.s in mere surliness, but he could go up against the worst of them in the Forgetting Your Library Card and Getting All Worked up About it to the Point of Leveling Threats Against the Staff 400 meter dash. One for the record books, people.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 33 (133): The Crustacean Menace!

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "First Day Back"
  
• Original Blog Entry: "Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #37 ("Thirty-Seven?!!")"
• Original Blog Entry: "More Fun with Mr. Crab"
  
• Original Blog Entry: "Crab's Complaint"
  
• Original Blog Entry: "Bad Case of the Crabs"
  
• Original Blog Entry: "Mr. Crab Finally Poops"
• Original Blog Entry: "We've Got Letters!"
• FAV POD OF WEEK: Smoviola #3: Buckaroo Banzai
  

EPISODE 32 (132): Blue Hair Group

Customer service people, back me up here. When it comes to the ability of customers/patrons to deliver huge consignments of shit during the course of a basic transaction, the group of human beings most likely to be making that delivery are Old White Ladies. Yessir. More than any other group on the planet, they are the least easy to please. Maybe it's a southern thing. I dunno. But that has been my experience over the course of 20 years of dealing with the public, and four such tales are presented in this week's podcast. (Featuring an appearance by Delva Poopoohead, of the New England Poopooheads.)

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 32 (132): Blue Hair Group

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original blog entry: "Liberry Glossary: Old White Women"
• Original blog entry: "Attack of the Old White Women"
• Original blog entry: "The Old White Women Strike Back"
• Original blog entry: "The Perfect Storm of Extremely High-Maintainance, Needy, Old White Women"
• Nerdist Podcast with Ben Folds
• Ben Folds.com
  

EPISODE 31 (131): Troubled Youth

Children are not angels. Sometimes they break bad and have to be sent away for a while to a place where they can be broken of the badness, or simply be removed from a bad situation. (I know, I know, that's a huge over simplification, but that's how it seems.) We had a couple of homes for troubled youth in Tri-Metro and they were frequent visitors to the "liberry" along with their usual hulking, pro-wrestler style Troubled Youth Wranglers. Getting materials back from them was often a problem. Getting them to stop asking if we had The Anarchist Cookbook, an impossibility.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 31 (131): Troubled Youth

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original blog entry: "Where's Jan Brady When you Need Her"
• Original blog entry: "Try the 641s, kid."
• Original blog entry: "Try the 364s, kid."
• The Sound of Young America podcast
  

EPISODE 30 (130): Shhhhh!

Libraries are supposed to be places of quiet study. Mine, not so much. Our patrons were very loud. Sometimes they suffered from no-inside-voice syndrome, a sad condition in which their parents never taught them proper indoor voice technique. Other times they used blood curdling screams as their only form of communication. And, on the rare occasions when they were quiet, they were excessively quiet and were in danger of having their voices drowned out by the sounds of typing. Presented for your modulated listening, three tales spanning the history of the original blog.

Notable appearances by Kanji the Kid, the Screamer.


DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 30 (130): Shhhhh!

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original blog entry: "Librarians Against the Apocalypse"
• Original blog entry: "Dammit this is a library, you're supposed to be yelling."
• Original blog entry: "Kanji the Kid Won't Leave me Alone"
• Nerdist.com